Adhesion
by HiddenAllusion
Summary: HGSS Challenge response. A potions accident leaves our heros in a rather undesirable situation. AU since HBP. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter One

**A/N Of course I should be writing more WUBD, but I have a small case of the block and this just sort of sprang to mind. Hopefully it'll give me inspiration for my other fic… which will be out within a week. This is another challenge response (it's all I seem to write these days), also HG/SS. I'll put the challenge requirements at the end after the story is finished… it will be multiple chapters. Anyway, this is the first part. Tell me what you think!**

_Chapter One_

It was a day like any other, really. Not a particularly auspicious beginning to the day, but then again I don't think I could have coped with any more drama than happened. What was that, exactly? Well you see…

It was my eighteenth birthday, and, up until potions class that day, everything had been going fairly well. The Gryffindors had only, so far, sung Happy Birthday twice, loudly and obnoxiously, and since I knew that there was absolutely no chance of a repeat performance in Professor Snape's class I was fairly content. I was eighteen and officially adult (and if that thought was a little scary I wouldn't admit it to anyone). The best part of the day was, of course, that my best friends seemed finally to have realised that my preference in birthday presents lies towards books, and they had _both_ given me books that looked quite fascinating, really. Ron, of course, couldn't resist slipping one of Fred and George's latest into the box, but I didn't really expect that he wouldn't. So, all in all, it was a fairly pleasant day.

But, of course, _that _wasn't to be. The goddess of chaos and discord struck (Eris, I believe… not that that's particularly relevant), and did so in a way that would make the next three months hell on earth for me. Yes, it was three months, no, the last two months weren't all that bad and yes, I realise I'm being dramatic. It's called creativity… a dramatical touch lightens up the story. And I do realise I probably shouldn't be having arguments with my (soon to be ex- if he doesn't stop annoying me) fiancé on the paper here, so I'll shut up and get on with the story. Yes, and drop the overly dramatical phrasing. Happy now?

Okay, so…. Ah yes. The potions class. I was working on a solventus potion and, for the most part, minding my own business. Except, of course, when Snape's back was turned and I noticed Neville doing something particularly stupid. I'm not quite sure what he was doing, to be honest, but I do know that whatever he put into that potion would _not _make a good solventus. So I went over there to sort it out for him (bossy I may be, but believe me if that potion had exploded then there would have been dire consequences… or am I getting ahead of myself?), and, of course, Professor Snape realised what I was doing, stopped sniping at Harry, and came up silently behind Neville and me. He snapped something, probably something along the lines of "What are you doing?" but, knowing Professor Snape, quite possibly far nastier. Poor Neville, though, had absolutely no idea that Professor Snape was right behind him. I don't think I've ever seen him jump quite so high before. Whatever it was he was holding in his hand, and to this day I can't remember what it was, fell into the potion with a loud plop. It began to bubble ominously. Neville, who had a sixth sense about these kinds of things, immediately took cover behind a workbench, as did most of the rest of the class when they saw what was happening. I, on the other hand, was too busy arguing with Professor Snape and losing Gryffindor points when the cauldron exploded. We heard the hissing noises seconds before it happened, and turned as one towards Neville's cauldron. Our arms were touching, I remember that. Difficult not to, really… anyway, then the liquid inside the cauldron exploded all over us and, wouldn't you know it, whatever Neville had managed to come up with was certainly _not _a solventus potion.

We were drenched in the scalding liquid. I went for my wand, fighting down a scream at the boiling potion coating my entire body. Resisting whatever it was pulling on my left arm I managed to drench myself and Professor Snape in cold water, a blessed relief. Somehow, miraculously (unless it was Neville's peculiar gift for making potions do exactly what they shouldn't), I wasn't burnt at all. Of course, when I turned to make sure Professor Snape was all right, I realised what was pulling on my arm.

"Let go of me at _once_, Miss Granger!" he snarled, completely ignoring the fact that it was my entire upper arm next to his and there was no possible way I could be voluntarily holding onto his arm. Our sleeves seemed to have fused together and my arm was quite numb.

"I'm not holding onto you!" I shouted back, furious.

Snape took one look at my face and probably realised then that I was telling the truth. He went to our arms and violently ripped the sleeve back. My hand and forearm seemed fine, but when I followed it with my eyes up to my elbow I felt a rush of nausea. Where our arms met, Professor Snape's and mine, at the elbow, they had sort of fused into one arm… and only separated just below my shoulder. I lurched forward, suddenly feeling dizzy as well, and vomited into Neville's mostly-empty cauldron. Snape, with no sympathy whatsoever, was awkwardly shooting spell after spell at our joined arms, arm, I suppose, trying to separate it. Then the numbness wore off and it hurt like hell; it hurt worse than hell, worse than anything I'd ever felt before. I think I was screaming, I know Professor Snape made a low noise, maybe a moan, that was absolutely terrifying. All I could think of was the pain; my nerves were all on fire, it hurt so badly I couldn't see, I couldn't think of anything except the unbearable pain that went on and on and wouldn't stop. The edge of my vision was clouding with it, and then blissfully, mercifully, I fell unconscious.

I woke in the hospital wing with three worried faces peering over at me. Professor Dumbledore's glasses had fallen so far down his nose I thought they would fall on me. Professor McGonagall had a pinched, worried look on her face, and Madame Pomfrey had never looked quite so nervous before. That worried me more than anything else.

"You're awake," Professor McGonagall said thankfully.

"And I wish I wasn't," said a disturbingly familiar deep groan from the left of me. I whipped my head around and, like a bad dream, Professor Snape was to my left. I yanked myself away from him, hating the proximity we were in and instinctively trying to get away. We were still joined at the arm, though, and a fresh wave of pain shot through it at my actions. I screamed and Professor Snape moaned again.

"Stop that!" Madame Pomfrey snapped sharply, looking at me. Then, in a much softer tone, she said, "I'm not sure what you've done to yourselves but it resists every spell I've tried on it. You're stuck, I'm afraid."

At that time my brain had sort of shut down completely and all I could do was giggle hysterically at the horribly bad pun I had just noticed. Then I realised where I was and what was happening and suddenly the situation wasn't so funny anymore. The professors, minus Snape, of course, who was rubbing our arm with his left hand, were all looking at me with concern.

"Sorry…" I mumbled.

"Quite all right, Miss Granger," Dumbledore replied, still looking at me with worry in his eyes. "As Madame Pomfrey has just said, it seems that you two are… somehow… stuck together."

"Then why do we not just _un_stick one another and finish this?" Snape asked tiredly. He raised his arm, moved mine with it, and glared at me. Slowly and deliberately he continued moving his hand to his face and rubbed the bridge of his nose. My hand was sticking up in the air and I had no idea what to do with it. I felt the sudden urge to cry. '_Blame it on PMS_,' I thought, and then thought, '_Oh shit. What if we can't get unstuck? I'll have to deal with… that…' _I couldn't even think the word 'tampon' at that stage, '_and Snape and… ohh dear God.' _Dumbledore, I suddenly realised, was talking.

"We've tried everything, Severus. All the charms we can think of. The solventus potion; Miss Granger's own, in fact. Nothing works. And I don't know what to do." He sat heavily on the end of the bed, looking, for the first time ever, completely uncertain of himself. We spent the best part of the next hour grilling Dumbledore on everything that had been tried, and he patiently told us after each suggestion that no, it hadn't worked. Finally, frustrated and furious, Snape had had enough. I, of course, had been sitting there timidly not wanting to become involved in the huge argument that was taking place and trying to think of something… anything, really… that would work.

"What can we _do_, Albus? We can hardly spend the rest of our lives attached at the arm! It's impossible!"

"Severus!" Dumbledore snapped, shocking me yet again that day. "There is _nothing_," he said slowly and very clearly, "that I can think of to try. You will have to, somehow, find a potion to reverse this. It will be difficult and uncomfortable and you will both have to learn to get along with each other until it is done. It could take a week, it could take a year, it could take a century, but this argument is getting nowhere." With sudden steel in his voice, Dumbledore continued, "You will both leave the infirmary now and decide what you will do. You will have to co-operate until a solution is found. Severus, no taking points from Miss Granger. Miss Granger, you will not purposely antagonise Professor Snape. Is that clear?"

More from shock than anything else, I suspected, Professor Snape nodded in agreement. I nodded too, also quite shocked, to tell the truth.

"Good," Dumbledore said. "Dinner is over, so I shall have the house-elves send food to your rooms, Severus. I shall see both of you at breakfast tomorrow, nine o'clock, if you please. Good evening." And he left! Professor McGonagall, with a last sorrowful glance at me, followed him out, leaving me sitting there alone with Professor Snape.

"This is your fault, Miss Granger," Snape told me.

"It bloody well is _not_! You were the one who terrified poor Neville into dropping that thing into his potion!" I wasn't quite sure where the new suicidal version of me came from, but I wasn't about to just sit there and let him take his anger out on me.

"If you had not been meddling then I would not have _needed _to interfere with Neville's potion!"

"He would have blown up the entire school if I hadn't stopped him! You weren't exactly doing anything to help!"

"So you think this situation is preferable?" he snapped.

"At least we're alive!" I shouted at him.

Madame Pomfrey, who had been watching all this, suddenly appeared to have had enough. "Stop!" she shouted, glaring worse than Madame Pince can, which is saying something. "There is obviously nothing wrong with either of you. Out! I will not have you disrupting the other patients!"

Embarrassed, I nodded and tried to get up. Snape apparently did the same on the other side of the bed, because there was a horrible wrenching and I was suddenly flat on my back in the middle of the bed.

"Let's go with your side, Professor," I suggested meekly. Snape, surprisingly, didn't say a word. We sat up together, slowly, and as Snape inched to the left I did the same, until we were both standing next to the bed. I hated the physical proximity; I'm really not a physical person, and forced to be so close to someone, especially Professor Snape, made me extremely uncomfortable.

"We shall go to my rooms, I think," Professor Snape said at last. "We can eat and find a way out of this predicament. Good evening, Madame Pomfrey."

She nodded at us and we left, stumbling and tripping until Snape, glaring at me, told me to walk in time with his steps. Not wanting an argument I merely did what he told me to do. But I wasn't happy… the evening, I knew then and there, would be hell on earth. And of course I wasn't wrong.

**A/N II: The solventus came to my mind with surprising ease, which I've suddenly realised probably means I've accidentally stolen it from someone. I don't know who or what but if it's you, please tell me so I can either credit you or change it (or both) … and I think that really is it. R/R! **


	2. Chapter Two

**A/N It's a long chapter! That coupled with the fact that I've updated the day after I posted the first chapter ought to have you all wondering whether I'm me or whether somebody's stolen my account… but really, who would want to? I'm on holidays at the moment, so don't expect the frequent updates to happen for much longer, but I thought I might as well post it seeing that I'd written it. I hope you like this chapter… **please **feel free to point out any mistakes, inconsistencies, rampant OOCness (I can't catch everything because, frankly, this would never happen in canon) and make any other comments you want to. **

**This part is for questions answered… skip on to the story if you're not interested. Firstly, thanks to everyone who reviewed… I hadn't expected nearly so many of you do to so and I'm really happy you did! The solventus, for Confused-Gal, as the name suggests, was designed to dissolve things… in my own little HP world, this means glue, basically… designed to get rid of any kind of adhesive. Which is why it's ironic that they're stuck together. I'll go back and make that far more clear when I do my final edit… it really was very confusing. I think PotionsMistress' question is answered in this chapter, and to BaYerrulz I'm afraid I'll stick with Hermione's PoV… I think I write better from her perspective (scary thought, no?). Oh, and I haven't written much in the first person before, so please tell me if I accidentally lapse into "Hermione said" and "she thought." To lala, I don't really want to reveal more of the plot than I have to before writing it, so I'll save the challenge stuff for after the story's finished… if you want to see it anyway, though, you can find it on wiktt… it's the superglue challenge. If you can't find it tell me and I'll email you the challenge rules. I'm not actually engaged (I'm only 17… not that that's stopped some people I know…), but I'm glad you kicked your ex out and that he wasn't abusive towards you… I'd like to say maybe he's changed, but I know far too well that it doesn't happen often, sadly. Again, thanks to everyone who reviewed, and here's the chapter!**

_Chapter Two_

We made it back to Professor Snape's rooms eliciting only a few shocked glances from frightened-looking students. Thankfully enough I didn't know any of them personally, which meant (I optimistically thought) that there wouldn't be any more crazy rumours flying around than there already were. Anyway, we finally reached a hallway in the dungeons. Snape stopped next to a patch of stone wall that looked exactly like the rest of the hallway without telling me that he was going to do so, so of course I ended up tripping over my own feet. Again there was a wrench and Snape and I ended up flat on our backs in the middle of the hallway, our joint arm aching anew.

"Miss Granger," Snape growled. I bit back the rude reply that was on the tip of my tongue; we could argue once we were inside his room, not lying in the middle of the hallway. I tried to get to my feet (quite difficult with one arm attached to a potions professor), but of course I was immediately pulled back by the arm I now shared with Snape.

"Perhaps, Miss Granger," Snape said icily, "Co-operation would help?"

Very reluctantly I said, "Of course, Professor Snape," instead of "So why the bloody hell aren't you moving?"

"Very well then. We'll stand on three. One, two, three!" Slowly and shakily we got to our feet. Snape turned back to the blank wall with a force that meant I had no choice but to turn with him. He took his wand from a pocket somewhere and using his right hand (the one that meant my hand was sticking out uselessly in the air again) tapped a complicated sequence on the bricks. Then he leant close to the wall and whispered what I assumed was a password, glaring at me after he had done so for good measure. I barely restrained myself from rolling my eyes… this condition wasn't exactly going to be resolved in a hurry and I couldn't go anywhere without him so what was the point in keeping the password to his rooms a secret?

A door materialised in the wall and Snape muttered something else. Then he twisted the doorknob with his left hand and we awkwardly walked together into the room. He slammed the door behind him, again causing me to stumble forward a few steps as he turned. I was getting thoroughly sick of this. He turned again and wordless walked over to the sofa in the middle of the room. It faced a fireplace in which there was a merrily burning fire. The rest of the room, I noticed, was surprisingly more cheerful than I would have thought. There were two large bookshelves overflowing with books, a well-used armchair next to the sofa, and a desk covered rather messily with parchments.

My observation of Snape's living room was cut short as I found myself falling and suddenly sprawled across the sofa, my head banging against Snape's shoulder before settling on the couch behind me.

"Why the hell can't you _tell _me when you're about to do something?" I snapped at him, finally having had enough. "You didn't tell me when you stopped walking, you didn't tell me when you closed the door, and you didn't tell me when you sat down! All it does is make _both _of us uncomfortable."

He sneered at me before saying, "It should have been fairly obvious, Miss Granger, that I intended to sit seeing that we have just walked to the couch. If your much-vaunted intellect was anywhere near as praiseworthy as you appear to think you would already have realised that I was about to sit."

I felt a headache coming on. "Look, professor, do we _really _have to argue right now? It's late, I'm tired, and instead of celebrating my eighteenth birthday I'm stuck here on your couch unable to separate myself from you." He opened his mouth to say something but I beat him to it, "I know you don't want to be here either… probably about as much as I don't, but there's nothing we can do right now. Can we just… I don't know… do something. Eat, maybe? I'm starving."

"Have you quite finished your little speech, Miss Granger?" Snape asked me with a raised eyebrow. I _really _wanted to hit him just then. Thankfully, the food that Dumbledore had offered to have sent to Snape's room appeared on the table at that moment, distracting me from smacking Snape across the face.

I leant forward to take a plate of what appeared to be lamb chops and mashed potatoes, not caring that I was pulling Snape forward with me as he had done so objectionably not much earlier. I reached to pick up a fork with my left hand at the same time Snape reached for his plate. There was an awkward moment and then that excruciating pain shot up my… our arm again.

"Oww!" I said involuntarily, at the exact same time Snape did. I looked at him in surprise, the pain have disappeared as soon as it had come. He was frowning at the arm.

"We should probably test the limits of this," he said, still frowning. Then, with a glance at me, he added, "but perhaps after we eat. I suggest you allow me to cut this up now, and then you may have use of the arm to eat. Assuming you eat with better manners than your friends, that is."

For some reason his slur on Harry and Ron didn't annoy me as much as it should have done, but then again I was always restraining the urge to nag the two of them for their atrocious table manners. I agreed to Snape's remarkably polite suggestion, despite his snipe at my friends, and sat uncomfortably upright as he commenced cutting up his meat into small slices. It was strange having my arm (from the elbow down, at least) moving completely involuntarily, but I let Snape take control. As we sat in silence, I found myself for the first time actually thinking about the situation we were in. It was unreal. I was _permanently attached_ to Professor Snape.

Snape moved the arm to the table and, with a raised eyebrow at me, told me that he had finished. I merely nodded my head and began eating my own food, watching from the corner of my eye as Snape. To be honest, I was quite interested in how he would manage the mashed potato with only a fork and no knife to… I shook myself a little, trying to pull myself together.

"Could you _please _not fidget, Miss Granger?" Snape asked tiredly.

"Sorry, professor," I replied. I was stuck to Professor Snape. Oh, God.

We finished the meal in silence for the most part, Snape finished his food first. He sat upright next to me until I placed my knife and fork together, and then he sat back into the couch. I bit back an angry comment that he again hadn't told me he was going to suddenly move, realising that he had waited for me to finish my food, at least, before sitting back.

"What do we do, Professor?" I asked plaintively. He rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"I don't know," he said grudgingly. "We need, I think, to… examine the problem. With your permission, I should like to remove as much of our sleeves as possible so we can look at our arms. Arm. _Accio knife_." A knife came flying towards us from the desk, which he deftly caught in his left hand.

"If you would?" he asked, offering me the knife. I took it, surprised at first, but then realised that he was probably right-handed and so obviously couldn't do the task himself.

"Just cut the sleeves off?" I asked uncertainly. He nodded. So I did, cutting first from my wrist up to my shoulder, then around to remove the entire sleeve. Reaching down the back was difficult, and I had to move our arm to cut all the way around, but Snape didn't say anything. Then I did the same to his sleeve. He sat unnaturally still, and I realised how much self-restraint it must have taken for him to allow me to bring such a sharp object up and along the skin of his arm. The sleeves finally fell off, and the proximity of our now bare arms struck me, making me uncomfortable all over again. Trying to ignore the feeling, I sat forward and examined the product of Neville's accident.

It was definitely my arm up to the elbow; lightly freckled and slightly chubby. At our elbows, though, our arms joined, fused together. It wasn't just as if the skin had melted, our two arms had actually combined to make one. I hesitantly reached with my right arm and touched it with a finger. It _felt _like my arm.

"Did you feel that?" I asked hesitantly. Snape nodded.

"It feels exactly as my arm usually does," he admitted. "Try… gently, let's try separating it." I nodded, and we slowly tried to move away from each other. My shoulder was straining a little, and then suddenly there was excruciating pain in the arm and Snape and I were wrenched together, shoulder to shoulder once more. We separated to the distance we'd become accustomed to and looked at each other.

"Well, that established that we're stuck like this," I said morosely.

"Mmm. How far can we move in other directions?"

"What, front and back?"

"Unless you plan on suddenly levitating, Miss Granger, yes, front and back."

I ignored that comment and said, "I don't know. I suppose we'll have to try it. Um, maybe we should stand up."

"Okay then. Now," he said, and stood. This time, thanks to his warning, I was ready, which meant we didn't have to go sprawling backwards onto the couch again.

"We will try backwards first," Snape said decisively. "Perhaps away from the coffee table." We walked, slowly, away from the table and the couch to the clear space in the middle of the room.

"Right then. Turn to your right. Slowly." I turned, as did he, and we actually managed to get almost back-to-back.

"That was mostly shoulder muscles, I think," I said aloud, and then quickly, to forestall any sarcastic comments on his part, asked, "shall we try the other way now, sir?" He nodded agreement and we, slowly once more, turned towards each other. He was uncomfortably close to me, and by the time we had moved as far as we could, my nose was pressing into his lips in a strange parody of a kiss. We both moved back quickly.

"Well, we've discovered how far we can go, at any rate," I said quickly, my cheeks burning in embarrassment.

"Undoubtedly." Snape looked at his watch. "It is near midnight, and we both have… oh, damn."

"We both have?" I asked him. I was surprised to hear him swear; I had never before heard Professor Snape do so and it surprised me.

"Classes," he supplied.

"Ah. Um… oh."

"Not quite the way I would have put it," Snape said with actual _humour _in his voice, "But I agree. Tell me, honestly, how much do you actually need to go to your classes?"

"I suppose I could get the notes from someone," I said dubiously.

"Does anybody else actually take notes?" he asked frankly.

"Lavender does. And Parvati. They're not really all that great, but they'll do… I probably know most of the stuff anyway." I realised how that sounded the second it left my mouth, but I couldn't exactly take it back. Surprisingly enough, Snape didn't make any sarcastic comments or sneer at me or anything.

"As I thought," he said heavily. "I suggest we go to my classes tomorrow, as I am paid to work here and it is my obligation. Then we will have the weekend to find ways out of this predicament." Snape didn't look too hopeful. I wasn't either, though; if Dumbledore and Pomfrey hadn't found a way to get us out of the mess I doubted we would be able to without months of research and work.

"Of course, sir. Um, we'll need to practise walking, and stuff, to be able to… well, for this to work."

"I agree. But not, I think, tonight. We will sleep, now, and wake early tomorrow morning to deal with that."

Surprisingly, I found that I completely agreed with him. My toothbrush, pyjamas, and everything else was all in my room in Gryffindor tower, but I didn't even want to think about changing or tooth-brushing or anything else right now.

"The bedroom is this way." I would have to share a bed with Snape. I shuddered. "Is there anything you desire from your room for tonight?" he asked awkwardly.

"I'll get it tomorrow," I replied, too tired to care about anything. "I'm too exhausted right now."

"As am I. You do not… ah, wish to change, or use the lavatory?" he asked.

I blushed again, quickly saying, "No, no, that's okay. Um… yeah."

"Good," he quickly said. Still, having brought it up I was suddenly terrified. I _would _have to use the toilet at some point soon, probably tomorrow morning. And I'd have to shower and change or I would smell… but I didn't want to think about it now and Snape obviously had no intentions of doing anything either.

"Let's go to bed, then, sir," I said, knowing exactly how it sounded but not quite sure how I ought to have phrased it.

"Of course. It is that door," he said, pointing to one of the two leading off from the room. We walked into the bedroom. I was dreading sleeping next to him, but dreading the next day even more. I sighed. Somewhere, there was a god that really hated me. Next to me, Snape sighed too.


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N First of all, thank you thank you **thank you **to everyone who reviewed! I'm amazed and ecstatic to see that so many of you liked the first two chapters. To answer a few questions: firstly, Snape is on Hermione's left… they're joined at his right arm, her left arm. To duj, yes, she is being unreasonable, but she's angry and… well, unreasonable. She does the same thing to him, too. To Confused-Gal, I tried to email you with the challenge requirements and yahoo returned my email. I'll try again tonight, but if it doesn't work then I'm sorry. To BaYerrulz, you're right about the flat on their backs thing. I'll fix it in the final edit… thank you for pointing it out to me! And to everyone else, again, **thank you**! I really was surprised at how many of you like story so far. Here's the next chapter, and more will be up when I next get the chance to write, anywhere between one and six weeks, I'm afraid (it's the IB… I consider myself lucky to get 5 hours sleep a night). Now I'll shut up and let you read. Thanks loads to XxGemxX for betaing this!**

_Chapter Three_

I woke with a start. Somebody was shaking my right shoulder.

"Who is it?" I asked sleepily. "What's wrong?" As Head Girl I have my own room. Nobody ought to have been there, and there should definitely not have been somebody waking me up when it was still pitch black.

"It is six o'clock, Miss Granger," was the hissed response. Ah. Professor Snape. The events of yesterday came back with a rush, and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep and pretend it had never happened. But the strong pressure on my bladder wouldn't let me do that. I needed the toilet. Badly.

"Okay, I'll get up."

"Good. I, ah, need to use the lavatory," he said uncomfortably. '_Why couldn't he just say "toilet?"'_ I thought grumpily, irrationally irritated, and with no sympathy for the man in the same situation as me.

"Me too," I admitted. "Um, let's get out my side of the bed." We sat up and then awkwardly slid so that we could both get up. I was about to ask if there were lights when Snape used our arm to get his wand, then cast a lumos. Candles around the room lit themselves immediately. Now we could see, at least.

Snape started walking, and I walked awkwardly along with him with absolutely no idea where we were going. I asked him, quite politely I thought, and he snapped that it was the only door in the room that didn't lead back to the living room. Today was going to be a bad day, I knew it already.

We made it to the bathroom, which was far larger than I had thought it would be. For some reason I'd had the impression that teachers' rooms were bare and stark, but Snape's certainly weren't. There was a large ornate bathtub that I was hugely envious of; I've always wanted a decent bathtub. The prefects' pool doesn't count, because you can't just lie back and relax in it. But then I realised that we would _need _the large bathtub if we were to… I didn't even want to think about that, so I continued looking around the room. But the sight of the loo I remembered exactly why we were coming here and I blushed all over again. I had a feeling that I would be doing a remarkable impression of a tomato for the rest of the day.

"So… uh… you first, Professor?" I asked shakily. _It's normal_, I told myself. _It's a normal bodily function, nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. We'll just do it and get it over with and we'll be fine. Nothing to it. Really._

He nodded abruptly. We made the journey across to the toilet. At last he stood in front of it. It wasn't rational to be afraid of a toilet, I knew that. But I was. Terrified, in fact. Snape looked awkwardly at me and I turned away as much as I could, closing my eyes as tightly as possible.

"I'm not here," I muttered. "I'm not here, I'm not here, gods above why me?"

"I hardly wish to be in this situation any more than you do, Miss Granger," Snape hissed at me through what I was sure were clenched teeth.

"I know," I said softly. Why couldn't this all have been a bad dream? I heard splashing start, and then stop. Then there was movement to the left, using our arm so that my hand dangled uselessly again. '_He's probably doing up buttons_,' I told myself. _'It's not a big deal. Really. I can cope with this_.'

"You may open your eyes, Miss Granger," Snape told me.

"Thanks. Um… okay. I guess… we need to turn around." '_Was my face actually glowing?'_ I wondered. '_Snap out of it'!_ I told myself. "Professor?"

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Snape looked as uncomfortable as I felt. That reassured me a little.

"I'm… going to have to sit," I said eventually. Really not wanting to, I continued, "It's not going to work… you'll need a stool, or something. Otherwise we'll both end up on the floor again."

"And where exactly do you propose we get this stool from?" he snapped at me.

"I don't know…" I said. Then I saw the laundry basket. "Maybe we could transfigure that?" I asked him. He nodded his head, lips pinched together. "Shall I do it, sir, or would you…"

"I'll do it, Miss Granger," Snape said tiredly. "_Accio _basket." He transfigured it into a crude stool and we sat, awkwardly. I risked a glance at Snape. His eyes were as tightly closed as mine had been, and I was fairly certain I heard a muttered "My heart can't take this…" from his direction.

"Hello!" I shot back, feeling like a thirteen-year-old but not caring much. "Like I asked for this…" Mercifully, he didn't reply, which let me get on with… what I was doing. Once I had finished, I told Snape so and we stood up again.

"Sink?" I asked him.

"There," he replied, pointing. We walked, perfectly in sync for the first time, towards the sink, and then proceeded to wash our hands.

"What now?" I asked.

"We should change," Snape said. "And wash properly, but perhaps that can be left for tonight."

"I don't even want to think about that now," I said fervently, and then blushed anew. "I need to get my stuff from my room," I told him hastily, "and I really need a toothbrush."

"We will summon an elf," Snape said decisively he took his wand from his pocket and said what I suppose must have been a kind of summoning spell. I wasn't quite sure what it was, but there was a house elf in front of us immediately.

"Miss Granger would like some things to be moved from her room, if you please," Snape told the creature.

"A few changes of clothes, and my toiletries, please. Oh and I guess I'll need all my books and things…"

"Pack all her belongings in her trunk and bring the lot down here. She can sort through what she wants later."

"He doesn't need to do that much work!" I protested.

"I is happy to help professor, Miss," the elf said, looking between Snape and me with worry. "I is doing it now." Snape nodded his head and the elf gave a sigh of relief and disappeared.

Snape changed robes while I waited for the elf to bring my things. It involved a lot of swearing and what sounded like a severing charm, but eventually I was given permission to open my eyes and Snape was standing there in clean, un-rumpled clothing.

"Neville is going to lose more points from Gryffindor than he even knew it _had_," Snape muttered furiously. "He will be serving detention until he graduates!"

"That's not fair!" I said. "He couldn't help… well, he could have done, but it was your fault too! If you hadn't scared him…"

"Miss Granger, the boy is a complete incompetent!"

"But you're supposed to teach him, not terrify him!" I snapped back.

"Are you criticising my teaching methods?" he asked icily. I decided that perhaps now wasn't the time to fight with him. Besides, potions accidents at Hogwarts _had _been at an all time low since Snape had started teaching, knowledge courtesy of (where else?) _Hogwarts: A History_.

"No sir," I replied. "I'm just tired and grumpy and stuck to you." Snape chuckled, shocking me to no end. I realised that within the space of a few hours I was unbending enough to be brutally honest with my professor. Choosing to forgo analysis of this strange behaviour, at least for the moment, I looked to where my trunk had suddenly appeared from nowhere, balancing precariously on the end of the bed.

"I think the elf was too scared of us to come back," I observed, walking towards the trunk. Of course, I forgot to tell Snape that I was about to walk, but he didn't comment. I eyed my clothes thoughtfully. Fresh underwear and skirt wouldn't be a problem, but I knew I would have serious issues with a clean bra and shirt. Deciding to follow Snape's example I opted for a severing charm, cutting through my bra strap and then down the whole side of my shirt and my school robes, and then using another charm to sew them back together. It wasn't exactly pretty, but not very noticeable either, and at this point I couldn't bring myself to care. Risking a glance at Snape, I saw that he was turned away from me. Assuming his eyes were closed, and not really wanting to further embarrass myself by asking whether they were or not, I began getting changed. He would figure it out when I moved the arm, anyway. Severus Snape was a very intelligent man.

It took a while to get changed, and I have a feeling that I swore more than Snape did, but eventually it was done and I felt that I was relatively presentable. Now for the hair.

"Miss Granger, _what _are you doing?" Snape bit out from my left. I realised I had forgotten to tell him that I had finished changing.

"Sorry, professor. You can open your eyes now. I'm brushing my hair." Snape turned to me as much as he was able, raising an eyebrow and sneering.

"So that's why your hair looks… as it does," he said.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, bridling.

Snape shrugged. "Merely that you would have far less difficulty with the aid of a few charms. If you'll allow me?" I nodded uncertainly, wondering what he would do. A little awkwardly, he eventually had his wand in our hand and was pointing it at my head. I tried not to flinch as he cast three charms in quick succession. My hair was suddenly tied back and felt… strange.

"What did you do?" I asked suspiciously.

"See for yourself." We turned around and faced the floor-length mirror. My hair was untangled and straight and in a neat plait!

"Professor Snape," I said solemnly, "I think I love you." Snape looked at me as if I had sprouted an extra head. I blushed immediately. Again. This man did _not _take well to jokes. "I'm kidding, sir," I said. "But thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"You are welcome, Miss Granger," he said stiffly. Then, "I believe we must go. It is time for breakfast. With luck, Dumbledore will have a solution and we'll be out of this mess before classes."

"I doubt it," I muttered, but went along with him as he began walking to the door. It wasn't like I had much choice.


	4. Chapter Four

**A/N I finally did it! Sorry to everyone who's been waiting months for this, but at least it's out now, right? I'm going away next month, so there won't be any updates for a while… sorry. Umm… next chapter of WUBD should be out soon, if anyone's interested; it's being beta'd right now. As to that, thanks to Gem to betaing this for me! And now I'll shut up and stop boring you and let you read. **

_Chapter Four_

The hallways were completely empty as we slowly made our way to the Great Hall, something for which I was eternally grateful. Being stuck to Professor Snape was a bad enough situation for the moment; I didn't want to have to deal with gossiping teenagers just yet. I wouldn't be able to avoid them forever, of course, but I wouldn't mind a reprieve on the first morning. '_The first morning!'_I nagged myself, '_You mean the _only_ morning! There aren't going to be any more of these, we're going to get out of this mess today!'_ I don't know why I bothered, though. I've never been any good at lying to myself.

We made it to the Great Hall without major mishap, and far too soon we were standing before the doors. I didn't want to go in… we would have to walk through the whole room, amongst all the students in the school, and I knew that every eye in the hall would be fixed on us. I gulped.

"Shall we, Miss Granger?" Snape asked.

"I… I suppose so," I said softly.

"Very well then."

I had been right, of course. Every eye in the place _was _on us. The room was completely silent. Then I heard a snicker, and another, and before I knew it students all around me had erupted into laughter. I wasn't sure whether to join them or to burst into tears. I did know that I wanted to wake up from what I felt sure was nothing but a terrible dream. It wasn't a bad dream, though, and we continued walking, slowly so we wouldn't trip on one another, up to the head table. Dumbledore greeted us cheerfully when we arrived.

"Hermione, Severus! Good to see you at breakfast. How are you coping?"

"I have turned into a hysterical lunatic and Miss Granger here has committed suicide," Snape said, his face expressionless. I would have found it extremely funny in any other situation, but I couldn't quite appreciate the humour just then.

"Good, good, glad to see you're in top shape, then," Dumbledore replied. I wondered, not for the first time, if the man really _was _crazy, most powerful wizard in the world or not. "Don't mind Severus," he confided in me, "He'll be like that most of the time. You just have to get to know him."

"Have you quite finished discussing my personality quirks, Headmaster?" Snape asked icily.

"Yes, yes, dear boy," he replied, smiling anew. "But I must be off now. Tell me if you can find a solution to your… ah… problem. I shall speak with you at lunch. Good day." And with that he left! I was speechless. Snape stared after him, mouth agape. I realised that I was doing the same, and shut my mouth with a snap. He'd just… left the problem with us! He was the headmaster; he was supposed to be able to fix _anything_!

"Did he… just…?" I finally stammered.

"It appears so," Snape said, rubbing his temple with the hand on the arm we didn't share. He shook his head, murmuring, "Astounding. I do believe he has finally lost the remainder of his sanity." Shaking his head, Snape glanced at his watch. "If we hurry, Miss Granger, we will have half an hour of lab time before I must teach the first class of the day." I nodded, and we hurriedly ate our food, avoiding the looks coming from the rest of the school.

When we had finished the meal, we moved our chairs back and stood at the same time. "We're getting a little better at this," I commented.

"Indeed. Come along, Miss Granger, I don't want to stand here all day."

"Of course, sir," I muttered, and we walked off together. We really were beginning to get into the pace now; outside legs, then inside legs. I suddenly remembered the sack races we used to do at sports day in primary school. Distracted from the pace, I fell out of sync with Snape, and then we both stumbled until we righted our balance once more.

"Concentrate, Miss Granger," he growled.

"Sorry, professor," I mumbled. Perhaps it would be easier to actually tie our legs together, so I did forget all the time that I was connected to him. I sighed.

By the time we reached the dungeons we only had fifteen minutes left before class, which Snape informed me would be Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw second years. There wasn't much point in getting started on anything to find out what on earth we'd been doused with and how to fix it, so instead we went inside and Snape explained the day's lessons to me. I didn't have to do much, I soon found out; all Snape wanted was that I keep an eye on the students to make sure they didn't blow anything up. That way, he rationalised, he would be able to concentrate on marking rather than protecting his classroom and we could work on a cure to our predicament in the evenings when he would usually be doing marking. I was surprised he thought me capable of preventing catastrophes, but (very wisely, I thought) said nothing.

Snape conjured up a second chair, placing it next to his behind the desk. I frowned and opened my mouth, but Snape spoke before I could.

"Yes, Miss Granger, I realise it won't work, thank you." With another flick of his wand he vanished the chair he had conjured and instead lengthened his desk chair so that it would now seat two. I nodded in appreciation.

"Let us sit, then, Miss Granger, while we await the second years. Are you hungry, or thirsty, at all?"

"Not really," I said, feeling the butterflies in my stomach, for some odd reason. "I am thirsty, though," I added.

"Very well. Coffee?"

"I… yes, thank you." I wondered where chivalrous Snape had come from, apparently replacing sarcastic Snape, but didn't venture a comment.

He snapped his fingers, and a house elf appeared with a pop. "Professor privileges," he replied with a smirk at my astonished look. "We will have two coffees, please," he told the house elf, who bowed and disappeared with another pop.

I opened my mouth to speak, but once again Snape jumped in before I could do so. "I do not care how you feel about elf welfare. I have no intention of not using them. Indeed, that would be completely illogical," he said, and then, on afterthought, added, "And inhumane."

I was about to argue when the second years began streaming in, so once more I shut my mouth. It was pointless arguing with Snape anyway. He always had to have the last word, and no mere eighteen-year-old girl could possibly change the habits of thirty-year-old man.

"Settle down, class," Snape snapped. "The potion you are to brew and its ingredients are on the board. You know where the supplies and equipment are. No talking is necessary. You may begin."

Thus began the class. My coffee materialised a few minutes after that, accompanied by a small jug of milk and a sugar bowl. I added milk and sipped slowly, enjoying the taste as I glanced around the classroom. No disasters seemed to be about to occur, so I sat back with a sigh and resigned myself to boredom for the next hour. _Boredom is far preferable to the alternative_, I told myself sharply. _Would you rather be back in the bathroom again?_ Then I groaned. Coffee _always _made me need to use said bathroom. Attempting to be discreet, I placed my almost-full cup back on the desk.

Snape, attention attracted by my groan and constant movement, raised an eyebrow at me, but said nothing and soon returned to his work. I closed my eyes for a moment, wishing, not for the first time, that this had all been a bad dream. Then I opened them and looked around the classroom again. It would be a very long day.

The second year class finally left without incident, and then came my favourite class of the day, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw seventh years. I knew these students, even had friends among them, and this class would be horrible.

"You will continue to brew the solventus," Snape said softly as they took their seats. "Use extreme caution, as I am _certain_ you have heard by now the consequences of your peers' class yesterday." The all looked anywhere but at us, and I cringed. Trust Snape to bring it up. Not, of course, that any of them were thinking of anything but our predicament, but even so.

"Very well, you may begin." Snape settled back in his chair, and began marking once again.

After that, the morning pretty much passed in a blur. Nothing happened in any of the classes, thankfully, because I doubt I would have seen or prevented it if it had. I was too immersed in my own thoughts, trying to find a way out of our predicament, to pay anything more than superficial attention to the class.

Pomfrey and Dumbledore had tried all the potions and the charms they could think of, so we would probably have to come up with something very rare or unorthodox, or brew and antidote to Neville's discovery ourselves. _Well, that can be done_, I thought resignedly. _It'll take a hell of a long time, but it can be done_. _Unless_… blanching, I looked up at Snape.

"We _did _keep samples of Neville's potion, didn't we?" I asked him in an undertone.

He looked up at me in alarm and said, with feeling, "Oh bugger."

I groaned, eliciting the attention of Padma Patil in the front row. She quickly looked back down at her cauldron at Snape's glare, and began stirring vigorously.

"We didn't return to the lab to clean up last night," I said softly.

"The house elves must have done it," Snape continued. "They will have scourgified the whole room and left it at that. Well, there's nothing to be done about it now," he continued, sounding uncannily like McGonagall, "We'll just have to see what we can come up with tonight. Now, Miss Granger, if you don't object I shall get back to my marking."

"Be my guest," I muttered grumpily. Today was going to be a _long _day.


	5. Chapter Five

**A/N You're right about Snape not being thirty, to Agent, but for some reason I had Hermione think that he was. That was so long ago now that I can't remember why… maybe because he looks younger? Or because he's reading over her shoulder so she's trying to flatter him? Anyway, to set the record straight, Snape is somewhere between 36 and 42, assorted and sundry reasoning applied, and you may choose whichever age you like best. There's another 'squirmy' scene in this chapter, as I've decided to call them, so I hope you're okay with that. There'll be more to come, too, I assure you. And finally, this is unbeta'd because I thought you'd rather have my mistakes today than the final version of the chapter in mid-August, which is when I get back from Australia, so don't say you've not been warned. I'll repost it and fix anything Gem corrects, and anything you notice if you tell me in a review. And now for the chapter!**

_Chapter Five_

It _was _a long day. Snape had a free period before lunch, so we spent it trying to figure out all the different possibilities of botched solventus that could have occurred given the ingredients Neville had access to, and then which ones would have caused the results that happened. We worked through lunch, too, listing combinations and bickering with one another. Dumbledore's command that Snape couldn't take points from me proved to be a blessing, because if he hadn't I'm fairly certain Gryffindor would have had negative points by the end of that lunch period. As it was, I was dangerously close to tears by the time the next, and the last, class streamed in. They were whispering and nudging one another, and beside me Snape sighed deeply.

"I'm standing up," Snape muttered to me, before doing so. I hurriedly stood too, glad of the warning but still feeling a little resentful. "Silence!" he snapped at the chattering class, and they all fell silent immediately. "I am well aware that you can all see my newfound _attachment _to Miss Granger, and you are equally aware of that fact, so there is absolutely no need to discuss the issue. You will – in _silence _–prepare today's potion. It is on the board. Begin."

The students fell to, and Snape touched my wrist to indicate that he was sitting, before doing so.

"It's easier," he explained shortly, and began marking once more. I sat back in the seat, my wrist still tingling a little from his touch. I wanted to touch it, maybe even to rub it off, but I knew that was ridiculous. _And why did I even feel that, anyway? _I asked myself. _He's _not _repulsive, not really. He's not exactly pretty, but_… and at the thought of anyone describing Snape as pretty, I fell into a silent fit of giggles. I imagined the look on Snape's face if he overheard someone calling him pretty, and I was shaking with laughter. Silent laughter. I'm not stupid. Anyway, my giggling earned a worried glance from Snape, and then an exasperated look.

"Are you quite all right, Miss Granger?" he asked in an undertone that was somewhere between annoyed and concerned.

"Yes. Sorry. How much longer will this class be here?"

"Twenty more minutes," he said. "And I've almost finished this, which means we can devote our evening to continuing work on a solution for this."

"Most of it," I agreed, "but I expect I'll have homework from the classes I missed today."

"I had forgotten," Snape said, frowning. His frown deepened, and he added, "There is also a staff meeting tonight which I, and by extension you, will need to attend. It is most inconvenient. Perhaps we would do better to start working on a solution tomorrow?"

"Probably," I agreed reluctantly.

The final class of the day filed out at last, and Snape and I sat back in our chairs simultaneously, breathing sighs of relief.

"What time's the staff meeting?" I asked.

"In about half an hour," Snape replied absently. "I, ah, have need of the lavatory again." He was avoiding my eyes, and I realised exactly how painful the next few days, or maybe even weeks, would be. "We should probably return to my rooms," he added.

"Yeah."

The trip to the toilet was only marginally less painful than it had been that morning, but this time all my attention seemed focussed on the shower. It was _small_. It would obviously be able to fit one person, but two? I had absolutely _no _desire to squash in there with Snape later tonight, which left the bathtub. It was certainly large enough for two, maybe even for four people, but… sharing a bath with Snape? The thought was terrifying. Still, I decided to terrify myself with that thought later; right now, we had a staff meeting to get to.

The meeting was boring. It addressed the usual teacher stuff, and I found myself zoning out, until I suddenly heard my own name. I came back to attention with a snap.

"… will have to miss her classes," Dumbledore was saying. "The professors can send a copy of the day's notes and homework down to Professor Snape's rooms each night, but I'm afraid you will not be able to attend classes while you are in this… situation."

I nodded mutely; Snape and I had already come to that conclusion by ourselves.

"Very well. Unless anybody else has anything to discuss, I suggest we close the meeting."

They did so, and then the teachers slowly filed out, most of them casting either sympathetic or curious glances at us. Snape's countenance blackened further, if it was possible. Finally we were the only two left in the room, along with the pile of papers my teachers had left for me.

"Back to your rooms, then?" I asked.

"Yes. Then to dinner. In the Great Hall, if you can stomach it."

Snape didn't look like he was particularly excited at the prospect, and I felt myself agreeing with that sentiment. Dinner in the Great Hall would be horrible. _But_, I thought, brightening a little, _at least I'll get to see Harry and Ron._ I'd missed them over the past two days, and I knew that this attachment to Snape meant that I'd not see much of them until we found a solution to the problem. Snape and my friends mixed about as well as oil and water, and I couldn't in all conscience expect them to tolerate one another for the sake of providing myself with a little comfort, much as I would have liked to.

I did see Harry and Ron after dinner, but only in passing. We ate quickly, because both of us hated being in the spotlight, and returned to Snape's rooms once more. Seeing that it was almost eight o'clock, I decided that it was time to bite the bullet and broach the subject of personal hygiene.

"Professor?" I said tentatively. "How are we going to wash, exactly?"

Snape groaned. "Would it be too terrible if we just used cleansing charms until we're through this?" he asked, more to himself than to me. We both knew the problems that happened when cleansing charms were used on people. "Who needs skin, anyway?"

"Too much blood for the house-elves to clean up," I said facetiously, eliciting a startled bark of laughter from Snape. We looked at one another, and not for the first time the strangeness of our position struck me. We were turned at right angles to one another, because if I tried to face him straight on my nose would end up in his mouth again. It made for strange conversation, and he was extremely close to me; but then again, he had been for the last twenty-eight or so hours now and my discomfort with any physical proximity was slowly dissipating, probably because I was getting used to it.

"A bath, then?" Snape asked in the silence that had suddenly become awkward. "The shower is probably not a viable option."

"How much better will the bath be?" I asked him bitterly. "_How _are we going to do this?"

"Let's just get to the bathroom first," Snape said grimly. "We'll decide _how_ later."

We made our way to the dreaded room, and I eyed the bathtub nervously. Then I laughed. At Snape's enquiring eyebrow, I explained, "I just realised that the only part of your bathroom that I've not feared at some point today is your sink."

Snape laughed, without much humour. "I have felt the same way," he admitted.

"Okay," I said at last, after we'd stared at the bath uncomfortably for a few minutes. "I think the way to go is bubbles. Lots of bubbles. We can't bathe with our eyes closed, and there's no way we can go one at a time."

"This is ridiculous," Snape muttered.

"You have a better plan?" I challenged him.

"Not particularly," he said grumpily. "Very well. Undress with our eyes closed, step into the bathtub, immerse ourselves in bubbles, and then wash?"

"Repeat until desired results are achieved," I mumbled. "Sounds like a bloody instruction book."

"You'd prefer to improvise?" Snape asked archly.

"Shut up." Snape's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he didn't comment. I said, "Come on, then," and began walking towards the dreaded bathtub.

Snape turned on the water, and then summoned a house-elf like he had that morning. "We need bubbles," he told the elf.

"Bubble bath," I supplemented.

"Yes sir, miss," the elf said, bowed, and disappeared with a pop. It returned moments later with a collection of bottles.

"What are these?" Snape asked suspiciously.

"They… they is bubbles, sir. And shampoo and soap and conditioner. I is getting everything from the prefect bathroom, sir."

"Thank you," I interjected hastily. "That's great."

The elf bowed nervously again and disappeared once more.

"I have soap," Snape muttered.

"It was very thoughtful of him," I said. "Shall we add the bubbles now, before there's too much water?"

He frowned at me but didn't comment, instead pouring about a quarter of the bottle of bubble bath into the water. My eyes widened slightly at the excess, instinctively about to protest, but then I decided that extra bubbles would mean I was less likely to see my professor naked, so I didn't comment.

"Let's get this over with, then," Snape growled, shutting of the water as he did so. "Perhaps if we turn as far away from one another as possible?"

We did so, and I struggled out of my robes. Unclasping them was no problem, but manoeuvring them over the joint arm was a rather large problem. I tugged, rather ineffectually, at them, wishing I hadn't left my wand in the other room and not at all sure what to do now.

"Bloody hell," Snape growled, "just cut it off."

"Exactly how to you propose I do that?" I snarled at him.

"With your wand, you silly girl."

"I don't have it! Don't you think I'd have done that already if I had it with me?"

Muttering about brainless Gryffindors Snape turned and severed the material with his own wand. That still left the shirt and bra, though, and so, steeling myself, I asked him to cut through those too. Because he was right-handed he was holding his wand at a ridiculous angle, and I was afraid he would cut through my skin, too. He didn't, though, and the material slid off me to the floor. I was uncomfortably aware that I was standing next to Snape in only a half-cut bra and knickers. He had to have been looking, too, to cut the straps, and though he was turned away now, fiddling with his own shirt, I knew that he would have seen me. Snape was using our joint arm to remove what I supposed was his shirt, so I stood waiting patiently until he finished.

"You're not moving, Miss Granger," he said after I heard the sound of his shirt hitting the floor.

"Please don't do that," I told him.

"Do what?" he asked irritably.

"Call me 'Miss Granger.' It makes it worse. It reminds me that you're my Professor. Not that I can forget, because I'm bloody well attached to you, but…"

"Of course."

"Thank you. I'm not moving because I need my left arm."

Snape didn't reply, but he took his trousers off, almost sending me stumbling at the unexpected movement until I regained my balance and bent down with him.

"Sorry, Mi…. sorry," he said hastily.

"That's okay," I said shakily. "Have you… are you done yet?"

"Yes."

So I took off my underwear, trying not to think of the fact that I was standing naked next to my equally undressed Potions Professor.

"Shut your eyes," he said softly. "and inch to your left. I'll get in first." We moved slowly, and I felt him move slightly, accompanied by splashing. "Your turn," he said unnecessarily.

"Right," I replied unsteadily. I stepped to the left a little, and my foot encountered the cold porcelain of the bathtub. I raised it, moved it over, and it collided with Snape's leg. I flinched and moved it away and down into the water. It was scalding.

I yelped and jerked back out of the water, my eyes flying open.

"It's hot!" I shouted, somehow managing to land next to the bathtub without falling over.

"It's a bloody bath, of course it's hot! What am I, your nanny? I can't help-" but he was cut off because my movement caused him to sprawl forward, and his knees collided with the side of the bath, his head with my left breast. I gasped and pulled away. His eyes were open, too, staring at the part of me he'd collided with.

I yelped and clapped my right hand over his eyes, shocked and self-conscious, and really, _really _thankful that the bathwater covered all the bits of Snape that I didn't want to see even as my brain kept repeating, over and over again, 'Professor _Snape _saw me naked, Professor Snape saw me _naked!_'

Snape meanwhile was trying to pry my hand from his face with his left hand, crying "My eyes, my eyes!"

"Keep them closed!" I snapped, and then, "And don't act like it was a painful sight, or anything. They're not… abnormal… or anything." I was fairly certain my face was bright red. But how dare he act like that?

"No…" he said, gasping as I finally took my hand away and he brought his own hand to his firmly closed eyelids. "You jabbed them and it _hurt_."

"Oh… sorry," I said, a trifle lamely.

"Forget it," he said, still rubbing at his eyes. "If you would care to get in the bathtub now?"

"Yes," I said. I got into the tub, ignoring the heat of the water, and keeping my eyes open because I didn't want to step on Snape and he was immersed anyway. Finally I was in. Making sure that nothing but my head was showing above the bubbles, I said,

"You can open your eyes, if you want to."

We began the tedious process of bathing. With not a little trepidation I began to wash my hair. It was its usual frizzy self, which stopped me short.

"Didn't you… defrizz my hair this morning?" I asked Snape. He looked at it, frowning.

"I did. It should not have worn off."

"It figures," I said morosely. "I knew the charms were too good to be true. Oh well."

The rest of the bath went fairly well. By 'fairly well,' of course, I mean it was embarrassing and uncomfortable, but there was no more exposure of body parts that I really didn't want exposed, and we were eventually dry. I put pyjamas on, blue flannel ones, but Snape didn't comment at all other than a quirk of his eyebrow. He dressed fully.

"I need to do my homework tonight," I told him. "Can we sit at a desk?"

"Yes," he said, sighing.

"Thank you."

The evening passed better than the one before had. I worked on the pile of homework I had been given at the staff meeting and Snape sat, reading a book of some sort. When I finally finished, at half past eleven, I sat back and stretched, unintentionally pulling Snape's arm up with mine, causing him to drop his book and scowl at me.

"Sorry," I said hastily. "Um, I've finished now."

"How nice for you." He went back to him book, and I glared.

"Could we go to bed, d'you think?" I asked, quite politely, I thought.

"It's barely past eleven," he said, not looking up from his book.

"Please?" I asked, and added, "I'm exhausted." I yawned in demonstration.

"If we _must_," he said nastily.

"I'm sorry," she said, not particularly sorry, "but I'm one of those people who need lots of sleep. Otherwise I'll be really grumpy all day tomorrow and we'll just end up fighting all day."

"Very well," he said, sighing, and put the book down on the desk. "Let's go."

Before long, I was lying next to Snape in the dark.

"You're not going to change, or anything?" I whispered to him.

"I usually sleep naked," he replied flatly.

"Oh."

I closed my eyes, embarrassed but grateful he was keeping his clothes on. A short while after that, I was asleep.


	6. Chapter Six

**A/N I feel guilty even in feeling guilty for having this so late. I've had parts of it written for ages, but the last 1000 words came together when I read your review asking me to update. So yes, your reviews** did **motivate me to continue! Thank you for all of them… I can't tell you how pleased I am to know that people actually read this, and on top of that, people like it. Anyway, I've changed style a little here mainly because I think it's appropriate… if I was Hermione, this is how I would write it. Although technically I am… let's not go there. The next chapter of WUBD is 75 percent written, and will be out within two weeks. I promise. It might even be out by next weekend if I get my internal assessments done. Loads of thanks to Gem for steering this along. There's not much left to go! And now I'll shut up and let you get on to the very delayed chapter.**

The next day was a Saturday, and I don't think I had ever been more grateful to see a weekend. We spent the day in the library, researching anything and everything we could use to split us apart. We even worked through lunch, due to a combination of not wanting to go into the Great Hall and really wanting to separate ourselves. Dumbledore had been even worse that morning, cheerfully asking us how we were going. When Snape had asked him if he was planning on helping at all Dumbledore had just smiled and said that he would leave that to "the more experienced researchers." I've not often wanted to smack the headmaster, but believe me when I say I really wanted to then. Still, the stream of abuse Snape let off as we left the hall went a long way to appeasing me; it appeared I wasn't the only one upset with Dumbledore.

We worked until the library closed, compiling a list of things to try. The charms we tried then and there, to Madame Pince's obvious annoyance, but the potions and hexes we decided to leave for Snape's quarters afterwards. Hexes have always been fairly shady magic, and the reason we waited to try the potions is obvious enough. Needless to say, none of the charms worked. Harry and Ron stopped by at one stage, eyeing Professor Snape nervously but then steeling themselves to approach us.

"How are you, Hermione?" Harry asked, still looking warily at Snape.

"We're surviving," I told them, marking my place in a book and ignoring Snape scowling next to me. "We're trying to find a way to separate ourselves, but we're not having much luck.

"Neville says to say sorry," Ron offered, sympathy in his eyes. "I don't think he quite dared to, um…" Ron trailed off, shooting glances at Snape. I rolled my eyes.

"Gryffindor bravery at its finest," Snape commented, speaking for the first time. "Twenty points to Gryffindor."

Ron and Harry's mouths dropped simultaneously. I laughed for the first time all day.

"He's being sarcastic," I informed them gently.

"Whatever gave you that idea?" Snape asked. He was really in fine form today. "I'm glad the boy hasn't seen fit to offer you his _condolences_. Shows quite admirable restraint on his part."

I actually felt quite sorry for the boys. "Er… right," Ron said. He looked a little pale.

"We'll be off then," Harry added. "Um… good luck with all this Hermione," he said. "Uh, and you, Professor," he added as an afterthought. They turned and fled then, and I began laughing before the door had even closed.

"Find that amusing, did you, Miss Granger?" Snape asked in my ear. I jumped, pulling him out of his own seat a little by doing so.

"I thought you said you wouldn't call me that anymore?" I said crossly. There was something just so _wrong _about this situation.

"How am I expected to address you if I may not call you 'Miss Granger?'"

I half-turned in my seat, looking at him incredulously. "Funny thing, Professor. Most of us actually have first names."

"Five points each to Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff," Snape said, smirking.

"You can't do that!"

"Why not?" He was still smirking. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Because Professor Dumbledore…" I began, but Snape cut me off.

"Forbade the taking of points from you, not giving others points."

"Two can play at that game," I informed him sweetly. "I promised not to purposely annoy you. Still, I'm sure you won't mind if we sit at Gryffindor table for dinner this evening. And now I come to think of it, Lavender promised to show me her new nail polish this weekend. It would be such a shame to disappoint her."

Snape looked positively terrified as he said, "No!"

"That means you won't give points in order to hurt Gryffindor anymore?" I asked, not about to let him away without promising.

"Yes," he replied heavily.

"Good." I turned back to my work.

"But, Miss Granger, I cannot call you by your first name."

"Why not?" I asked, putting my book back down with a thump and turning to glare at him.

"It would be improper."

"Right, and sharing a bath with me isn't?" I asked loudly. There was a gasp from the next table, and wide-eyed students stared at me in horror. I frowned at them and they hurriedly turned back to their work. "Well?" I asked Snape, in a much lower tone.

"That is beside the point. It is improper for a professor to address-"

"They do it all the time in muggle schools."

"This is not a muggle school!" he said, with rising irritation. I knew I was pushing it, but really, it was _not _such a big deal.

"Professor Dumbledore calls Harry by his first name."

"They have extenuating circumstances."

"And we don't?" I asked in frustration. "Look, I don't care how you address me. You can call me Little Miss Muffet for all I care, just please don't call me Miss Granger."

"Very well." I didn't like the look in his eye when he conceded the point, but I wasn't up to arguing with him or questioning him again. Instead, we both went back to our work relatively peacefully. I wondered what I'd let myself in for.

We ate dinner that night in the Great Hall, arguing fairly amiably about our situation.

"What if we used a Permanent Severing Hex?" I asked him in an undertone.

"Out of the question," he snapped.

"Why?"

"Why? Would you agree to getting your arm amputated so that I could have the use of it?"

"Of course not!"

"That, Miss Mary, is the reason I don't want to use the Permanent Severing Hex. I wish to find a way that leaves me with the use of my arm, not both of us armless."

"Miss Mary?" I asked, puzzled. Snape's only reply was to smirk and to seize advantage of my pause to use our arm to cut a piece of lamb into smaller pieces. "Why Miss Mary?" I persisted.

He shrugged. "You told me not to call you Miss Granger anymore."

"But…" Suddenly it dawned on me. "I'm not contrary!"

"No?" he asked archly. He continued eating, ignoring my outraged spluttering beside him. Contrary indeed!

The days after that, believe it or not, fell into a kind of routine. We woke up in the morning, dressed, and ate breakfast in the rooms to avoid Dumbledore in the Great Hall. Then Snape and I took turns supervising the classes, doing our own work where possible. At lunchtime we would eat while we worked, researching arcane knowledge in centuries-old books and trying whatever we could. Afternoon classes passed in the same way as the morning ones, and after they were finished I would do a mini class with Snape to cover the practical potions that my classmates had done during the day. Oddly enough, this was even more awkward than what I had begun to term Bathroom Activities in my mind, because the man attached to me became Professor Snape in those moments. At all other times he was just a person, which was difficult to deal with (especially since he happened to be male), but not nearly as difficult to deal with as facing up to the fact that he was my Potions Professor.

After the lessons we worked on potions that might separate us, fruitlessly, as it turned out. Then we ate in the Great hall for the first and only time of the day, ignoring the stares from students that became less and less frequent as time wore on. After dinner I would usually have a perfunctory and distinctly awkward conversation with Harry and Ron, and those too were as awkward as the Bathroom Activities, for the same reason; Snape was beginning to thaw out around me usually, but he froze faster than Siberia in winter when Harry and Ron were around. Maybe it was the fact that he couldn't take points from me, or that he didn't teach me in class anymore, or maybe it was even my insistence that he call me something other than "Miss Granger" that caused him to behave progressively more like a friend than simply… well, a physically attached student.

I suppose that if I wanted to I could track Snape's ever-changing view of me on how often he forgot and called me "Miss Granger", to what he wore to bed. I know it sounds odd, but what doesn't about our situation? And it was true. After the first week or so Snape began removing his cloak before going to bed. Just a small thing, and believe me, the first night he did it I almost died of fright; all I could hear were those three little words he had uttered on our second night of sleeping next to one another (not together, that came later), the words "I sleep naked." I imagined him stripping off, him lying next to me in bed _naked_, and I imagined myself scarred for life, never able to sleep again. Of course he didn't (and thank God for that… I don't think my eyes or my brain could have coped with it back then, naked Snape at bath time was bad enough.). He simply removed his cloak, folded it, and Banished it to a chair. About a week later he began removing his robe before bed, but he still had trousers and a shirt after that. That was the week I began to feel almost friendly with him. It was strange at first; I didn't feel that we were friends, but I began to enjoy his company more. Of course, that could have been because he opened up his bookcase to me…

"Professor?" I asked.

"Severus," he responded absently, immersed in the book he was reading and continuing to ignore me, bored and idle by his side on the couch.

"You know I can't do that. It's just weird." That got his attention. He glanced up and smirked.

"Yet you expect me to not call you 'Miss Granger?'" he asked.

"Point. But don't distract me! I was in the middle of whining to you that I'm bored."

"Oh really."

"Yes really. I finished my book ten minutes ago-"

"And you've been plaguing me with not-so-subtle hints since," he interrupted.

"You noticed!" I was annoyed; he had realised I was sitting bored with nothing to do and he hadn't so much as looked up from his reading?

"How could I not? You fidget incessantly when you aren't occupied."

"I have nothing to occupy myself with," I retorted.

"With which to occupy yourself," he corrected, smirking.

"You're annoying."

"I'm merely showing you how your _friends _must feel in conversation with you."

"I thought we had agreed on no friends insults?"

"I wasn't insulting _them_," he returned mildly. I scowled at him.

"Anyway, I have nothing to do. I really don't want to sit here bored for the next however long it takes you to finish the book."

"Very well, then."

"Um?" I asked, not sure what he was agreeing to.

"You may choose something from my bookshelves." I know it was a small favour he was granting me. I knew it, but I revelled in it. It meant that Snape trusted me, that he viewed me as a responsible person… but mostly, it meant that I would have new books to read!

That day, I think, more than anything else, was the beginning of our friendship. Our romance was yet to come.


	7. Chapter Seven

**A/N This is the last chapter but one! I'll try to write the next this week, while I'm in Mexico, but no promises because I'm notoriously bad at keeping them. Thanks for everyone who reviewed, encouraged me to continue, and generally helped this along. It's all down to you that this isn't out even later! **

_Chapter Seven_

My love of books wasn't the only think that strengthened our tenuous friendship as the days went by, although they were the reason I got out of the mindset of thinking of Severus as a professor. He didn't, of course, take the moral high road in convincing me to use his first name; rather, he refused to lend me whichever book I was looking at next unless I called him "Severus" when I asked. Quite manipulative of him, really, although he _was _a Slytherin so I'm not sure why I was surprised. He, of course, still refused to call me by my first name at that point. Instead, I acquired another nickname.

"Severus?" I asked one day.

"Yes, Miss?"

"Since when have you called me 'Miss?'" I asked, completely distracted from whatever it was I had been going to say.

"Since I forgot you didn't want me calling you 'Miss Granger' so I ended the sentence before I reached your surname."

"You're a strange man, you know that?"

"I've been told so on a number of occasions. Was there a reason you interrupted me, Quicksilver, or did you just feel like chatting?"

I had actually just felt like chatting, but of course nothing could have persuaded me to admit to that. "Quicksilver?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Why Quicksilver?"

"There would be no point in these nicknames if I were to explain each and every one of them to you."

"You realise it's going to drive me crazy? Do you really want to be bonded to a crazy person?"

"I have no choice," Severus informed me, smirking.

"You could just tell me," I pointed out, ignoring the not-so-subtle jibe.

"But that wouldn't undo the damage."

"You're suggesting that I'm already crazy?" I asked, putting an affronted expression on my face. "Quicksilver as in mercury as in it used to drive people crazy when they came into contact with it? Mad hatters and all that?"

"Close, but not exactly. Although I won't contest that you may not be entirely sane," he said smoothly. "Before you become all huffy, I had an idea for separating us at lunch today."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked immediately, the thoughts on my new nickname immediately pushed to the back of my mind. "Do you think it will work? What is it?"

"I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure about it. I'm still not. The option is… ah… muggle surgery."

I blinked and sat back. "You're joking?"

"No. Muggles could probably separate us, as only magic seems to be repelled by our arms, not knives. Magic could then heal the rest of the damage after the operation."

"It's a little scary," I said frankly, thinking about the implications.

"I know," Severus replied, taking my hand on our joint arm with his and squeezing it gently. "It's still an option, though. Maybe a last resort, if we cannot find something else to solve the problem."

"Mm," I said noncommittally, resting my head on Severus' shoulder. He tucked my head under his chin, which surprised me; up until now he had tolerated my physical contact, but had not yet reciprocated. It was quite nice, though. Quite intimate. That thought made me sit bolt upright, dislodging Severus' chin from my head.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately. "Did I do something?"

_He's really quite insecure_, I thought absently even as I reassured him that no, he had done nothing wrong. _Why is it that I find that thought endearing? Why is it that I actually _enjoyed _the idea of us sitting here intimately? _

"I'm glad," Snape said in response, startling a little jump from me before I made the connection between his words and my previous words, not my thoughts. "Ready for bed?"

"Yes," I replied. Impulsively, I took his hand in mine and squeezed it, echoing his touch from moments earlier. "Thanks for going to bed early for me," I said. "I know you're not used to it."

"I'm rapidly becoming used to it," he said morosely. "But I suspect the additional sleep is good for me.

The idea of surgery sat in the back of our minds over the next few weeks. We still tried to find an alternate route, of course, but there wasn't such desperation to find one. Well, maybe the reduced desperation wasn't only due to the fact that we had a possible solution now; we had become much more comfortable around one another, so separating ourselves wasn't quite such a necessity. We'd been forced into physical intimacy pretty much from day one, but we were slowly becoming more comfortable with that intimacy. I don't know that we would have admitted it at the time, but sometimes it was nice to have another person there, always available to bounce ideas off, ask questions of, or even just to keep each other company. Unlike with Harry and Ron, Severus had… well, still has… a great deal in common with me.

So the next few weeks passed without much notice, until suddenly I realised it was two weeks from Christmas and not only did I have no presents but my parents were expecting me home. A quick letter to my parents solved the second of the two problems, briefly saying that there had been a magical problem that wasn't a big deal but prevented me from coming home. Severus chided me for not having told my parents of the incident but, frankly, they would have flipped out and there really wasn't any need to worry them unnecessarily. Present shopping was much more difficult since neither Severus nor I wanted to expose our problem to the public (it was bad enough the whole school knew about it; we didn't want to suffer stares in Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley), but I eventually decided to order as much as I could through catalogues. Severus was more of a problem, but I eventually asked Mum to owl me a couple of Pratchett novels which I managed to hide fairly successfully by telling Severus the package contained tampons. He wasn't to know any better, and it certainly kept him from taking an interest. Quite a useful tactic, that.

It was, in fact, in the early days of the Christmas holidays that we decided to carry through the surgery option. By that point it had become fairly obvious that we weren't going to find an alternate solution, so we had the problem of trying to come up with a convincing story to tell a group of muggle doctors. We couldn't invent a single story. We even asked Dumbledore, who approved of the surgery idea but couldn't think of a convincing muggle-appropriate reason for our arm fusion (unless you count his suggestion involving white mice and an electric power plant, but personally I thought that was stretching the bounds of probability a little). Eventually we decided to tell the truth, give a demonstration of magic, convince muggle doctors to operate, and then obliviate the lot. I didn't like the idea, personally; I know I'm being squeamish but the obliviate just seems so… immoral, I suppose. I don't like the idea of taking away people's memories, even if Aurors do it to muggles all the time.

The obvious solution didn't come to us for a few days. Severus was sitting on the chair beside me, reading one of my potions essays and nibbling on the end of his quill. I, of course, was looking over his shoulder (he'd given up nagging me for that weeks before), and in the candlelight there was something about his profile that looked… well, adorable. I told him so.

"Crazy girl," he said absently, still focussed on the paper.

"No, really," I insisted, smiling now.

"You belong in St Mungo's," he informed me. "They have wards for people like you."

"No," I said, suddenly excited, "but I bet they would if we explained it to them."

"I beg your pardon?" Severus asked, frowning slightly.

"The operation! If we explain what happened to Mediwizards and witches they can knock us out, perform the surgery with a knife, and then magically heal it! No worries!"

"That… could actually work," Severus said, impressed despite himself.

"Of course it could work," I replied. "It _will _work." We sat back and looked at one another for a long moment.

"So that's it, then," I said at last.

"That's it," he echoed. "Problem solved."

"Mm." I put my head on his shoulder, as I'd become accustomed to doing, and Severus took my hand in his and ran his thumb lightly over it.

"It'll be weird," I said after a while.

"What will?" His breath tickled my hair, and I snuggled closer into his neck.

"Being separated. Not being with you. I'll miss my portable pillow," I teased.

"Nice to know it isn't my wit and charming personality you'll miss," he said dryly.

"That goes without saying," I said, finding as I said them that I meant the words. "I'll miss you, you know that?"

"I'll miss you too." He said the words quietly, but they were definitely audible in the near-silent room. A sudden rush of heat went through me. I lifted my head from his shoulder, tilting it to kiss his cheek, and instead found his lips there. I won't say it was the most uncomfortable kiss I've ever had, but it really didn't work, what with being joined at the arm. I pulled back, smiling slightly.

"After the operation," I promised.

"Yes," he agreed, regarding me solemnly.


	8. Chapter Eight

**A/N Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, and to my beta Gem. You've all encouraged (and sometimes guilted) me into writing this and now, believe it or not, it's actually finished! I hope everybody likes the ending. I don't think there'll be an epilogue, mainly because I think this ties everything up fairly well and I can't think of anything else to put into it, but if you have suggestions feel free to review/message/email me and I'll definitely rethink it. The next chapter will have the challenge requirements, so feel free to have a look. And that's that. Thanks to everyone who's been with me throughout this, both reviewers and those of you who just read. I really am glad you read it, and the reviews especially have really meant a lot to me. Merry Christmas / any other holiday you celebrate!**

We went to St Mungo's the next day. Explaining the situation to a panel of doctors wasn't much fun, and then of course they insisted on throwing spell after spell at us to try to fix the problem without resorting to "that barbaric muggle way." It would have saved them a lot of effort had they listened to us, but they wouldn't so we were subjected to spells, hexes, potions, and charms. Eventually, though, they admitted that surgery was the only way, and agreed to do the operation that night. I went to bed with Severus that evening, holding hands as had become custom. I woke the next morning alone in my bed for the first time in months.

It was an odd feeling. Waking up alone, that is. My arm ached, although that was partly due to the mediwizard prodding the bandages with his wand. And that, of course, prompted me to wonder _why _I had bandages on my arm. I asked the mediwizard.

"It didn't respond to magic yesterday," he replied absently, frowning at the bandage. "The problem is that the wound is far too large to let it heal alone. There would be severe scarring and likely infection. You'll just have to stay here until it's healed."

"It can't be _that _big," I said incredulously.

"It is," he replied firmly. "You have a cut from your shoulder to your elbow. Your muscle has only just finished regenerating itself. You really ought to stay for at least a week."

"No," said a familiar voice flatly, somewhere to my left. I spun, wrenching my arm out of the mediwizard's grip, to look to my left where, sure enough, Severus was sitting in a bed similar to my own. He was wearing a hospital gown and the sight was so incongruous that I couldn't stifle the laugh that rose inside me.

Severus, misinterpreting my laughter, asked mildly, "Do _you _want to stay here for the next week?"

"No," I replied quickly, and after a brief smile at Severus, I turned back to the mediwizard. I almost missed the soft smile he gave back, as it only lasted a short moment. "The magic didn't work when our arms were joined, separation magic. Did you even try healing magic after you separated us?" I realised after I'd said it that perhaps I was being a little harsh, but I chalked it up to spending too long in Severus's company. The mediwizard flushed.

"I did not think it…"

"Perhaps you could stop your petty excuses and actually try to heal it?" Severus asked from his bed. "Unless, of course, you'd prefer to spend all morning making apologies to your patients."

The mediwizard flushed a deeper red, and for a moment I felt bad for him. It passed, though, when he began prodding my arm rather forcefully. It _hurt_. Severus obviously noticed my pain, because he snapped at the mediwizard again. It was a long morning.

We were let out of the hospital that afternoon. Normally, I think, we would have stayed there for at least another few days, mainly because it was a brand new kind of treatment (mediwizards didn't like surgery), but Severus' charming personality meant we were out in record time.

Severus took my hand in his as we left the building, healed but with a faint scar running down our arms. I squeezed his hand and smiled up at him as we made our way to the apparition point.

"It's nice to be able to do this," I said.

"Walk separately?" he asked with an ironic twist to his eyebrow. I laughed.

"To hold your right hand. Although it's nice to be able to separate."

"I agree." We had reached the room, and Severus wrapped his arms around me before apparating us both to a point outside the Hogwarts gates. Instead of disentangling myself I moved closer, burying my head in his neck and breathing in the scent that had become so familiar over the past few months.

"I'll miss this," I whispered into his chest.

"So shall I," he admitted, which impressed me. Maybe I was rubbing off on him as much as he was influencing me, but this was probably the most open he had ever been. I pulled back a little, and smiled up at him.

"I owe you a kiss," I said, holding his eyes.

"You do."

"Well, I'd hate to go back on my promise." I reached up and touched my lips to his, revelling in the feeling of his arms around me, his mouth on mine. Slowly, eventually, we withdrew, and looked at one another.

"We should probably go in," I said at last, disentangling myself from him but catching hold of his hand yet again. "Dumbledore will be expecting us."

We began the walk, keeping pace with one another instinctively as we had so many times before.

"I'm glad," I said impulsively. "It's been awkward and uncomfortable and sometimes even miserable, but overall I'm really glad."

Severus nodded agreement, and then chuckled. At my enquiring look he explained, "I never thought that I would owe Neville my gratitude. It seems I was mistaken. Twenty points to Gryffindor!"

"Only twenty?" I asked teasingly.

"Well, I suppose I could give you twenty points too," he said, his face blank.

"You mean I'm not worth more than that?" I asked in mock hurt.

"You're worth much more," he said, with a seriousness that moved me, and came in for another kiss. It was then, I think, that I really fell in love with Severus Snape. It wasn't just his kiss, although I will admit (at the expense of swelling his ego even further) that that man is _talented_. I'm not sure how we made it back to his room, or even how many people saw us, but I do know that my shirt hit the living room floor before the front door was even closed. We stumbled to the couch, shedding the rest of our clothing as we did so. I fell back onto it, pulling Severus down with me. He kissed a trail down the side of my neck, latching on my collarbone, while I ran by hands down his back, exploring his shoulder blades.

Albus Dumbledore chose that particular moment to open the door. It was like a bucket of ice water had been thrown on us. I withdrew from Severus, curled up and covered myself as best I could with my arms, staring at the headmaster in horror. Severus had the presence of mind to conjure a blanket, but he too was staring at the headmaster in horror.

"You have two minutes to dress," Dumbledore said flatly, leaving the room and closing the door behind him. We stared at each other miserably for a moment.

"I'm sorry," Severus said after a pause. "I should never-"

"It's my fault too," I told him flatly.

"But I took advantage-"

"Don't you dare," I interrupted, my eyes narrowed. "If anything, it was the other way around. _I _jumped you, if you remember."

"Not really," he admitted. Then he smiled wryly. "I should have locked the door."

"_That _would've been a good idea," I said dryly. "Come on, let's get dressed before he comes back in." Putting on my shirt, I said, "I think we should play the eighteen-and-no-longer-your-student angle."

"I beg your pardon?"

"We didn't do anything wrong. Not really. I'm eighteen and I haven't been in your classes for three months." At Severus' frown I added, "Well, do you have a better idea?"

"No," he admitted, but then Dumbledore opened the door again so we shut up and finished putting clothes on at lightning speed.

The ensuing conversation wasn't fun. Dumbledore managed to be both angry and disappointed, which made both of us feel like guilty children. I did take the eighteen-and-not-in-his-classes approach, which I think worked in convincing him not to expel me and sack Severus. Dumbledore did make us promise not to touch one another until the end of school, though, and we agreed that I would have private potions lessons from him instead of Severus for the rest of the year.

I won't talk much about the rest of the school year, because it wasn't much of a fun time. Harry and Ron were supportive of me, surprisingly so considering that I told them every little detail on a rainy weekend in February. Ironically enough it was Harry who flipped out and Ron who calmed him, which was completely unexpected. I've always considered Harry the level-headed one and Ron the one with the temper. Anyway, I was really touched by their concern, though, and after they'd had a little time to mull over what I'd said (well, that and consider my threats), they were incredibly supportive. The rest of the school had no idea, of course, but just having lived with Snape for three months made me a bit of an outsider to them, not that my grades and love of books hadn't already made me an outsider. Still, it wasn't a fun few months, and I was incredibly happy to graduate.

My friends all went home on the Express the next day. Me? Well, I sort of missed it. The alarm clock didn't get me out of bed, on account of Severus throwing it against the wall hard enough to shatter it and kissing me for long enough that he completely drowned my half-hearted protests. I didn't mind, though. Some things just take priority.

Severus proposed in the following months, and I've been living with him ever since. We've decided to hold off on the wedding until after I've finished university, mainly to keep Mum and Dad happy, but Severus thinks it'll be easier for me if I don't go off to university married, and who knows, maybe he's right. A marriage certificate isn't all that important to me though; just living with Severus is enough. And I will live with him next year; now that I've got my apparition license the distance isn't a problem at all. I couldn't be more grateful to Neville, really. You know what I learnt from all this? Love comes in unexpected places, but if you find it, hang onto it for all you're worth. That, and always lock the door.


	9. Challenge Requirements

_Super Glue Challenge By BakaChan _

END DATE 2-14-05

Challenge: Hermione and Severus are super glued together during a potions class. Hermione must be of age, she must be Severus' apprentice/assistant, she can still be in school at Hogwarts but is not a must. Neville or one of his progeny is at fault for the potion that glues them together. They must remain glued together for at least 2 months, and charms and spells are unable to separate them. How they are glued together is up to you.(part of body) In the end Snape must award points to Neville/his progeny. Snape must award points to Hermione. There has to be at least one sex scene that Albus walks in on.

THE FOLLOWING SENTANCES MUST BE UTTERED:

"Bloody hell, just cut it off"

"It can't be THAT big"

"What am I your nanny?"

"Helloo… like I asked for this"

"I'm not here.. I'm not here…gods above why me?"

"my eyes my eyes…"

"My heart can't take this…"


End file.
